Sometimes Saturday: Wallpaper Lessons

I have an older home that once had rooms with layers upon layers of wallpaper. I have spent countless hours removing said layers and fancy myself an expert on this craft. Well that is to say I did, until recently. This week I was asked to remove one strip of border about 6" by 48" before painting the small room where it was located. I surveyed the border and prepared myself for its removal accordingly. It was such a small amount (won't take long), it's just one layer (won't need my tools) and it was over a painted wall (won't need removal chemicals). I arranged to have the room set up the day before so that I could begin painting the next morning, I confidently opened the paint cans and set out for the small task of removing the border that was on the top of one of the four walls. Upon my first attempt of removing said border I soon learned that I had been outwitted. What I thought would take a few seconds actually took about 45 minutes. I hadn't even considered bringing my tools or chemicals, big mistake. The beauty of tedious jobs like this is that while they can be frustrating and time consuming they also provide a chance for the mind to wander and contemplate. As I worked three resonating life lessons revealed themselves through the task:
#1 Never presume that just because something looks like a small task/problem etc that it is small. As I view the world I often look at other's lives and think that others have a handle on their lives, "gee so and so is really livin' the dream" I may notice that they have wallpaper to remove but it doesn't look nearly as bad as mine. There have been many times when I realized a marriage I thought was strong was crumbling, when a teenager I thought was the perfect child was actually struggling or that someone I had always thought was confident was actually second guessing themselves continually. We should only survey our own wallpaper and the wallpaper of those who are willing to let us. We can learn from our own removal and we can help others as long as we keep in mind that all wallpaper removal is different and even though experience is valuable it is rarely the same thing twice.
#2 If you've got the tools, bring them, share them and use them. Tools (experiences etc.) aren't going to do you or anyone else any good sitting on the shelf. I have various tools and chemicals that aid in wallpaper removal unfortunately I did not bring any said items with me because --see #1 above. I know the procedure for getting rid of wallpaper and even without the proper tools I was able to improvise with what I found onsite. As we reach out to others who are asking for help we need to look within for how we can show and express empathy. Brene Brown says, "me too are the two most powerful words to kill shame" in other words as we share our vulnerable side(s) with others they may become useful tools for others and aid them in being vulnerable as well. Brene Brown has discovered that being vulnerable is the gateway to innovation and creativity etc. To be clear I'm not suggesting that I should take my tools to all my friends' houses who have wallpaper. Not all people want help to remove their wallpaper. This week my friend was ready for this border to come down, knew that I had experience in doing so and had called on me to take hers down.
#3 The cycle I have developed over many hours of wallpaper removal: Scrape what you can, pierce the paper, soak it/let it sit, pick scappings off the floor (so you don't rush the soaking process), repeat.  As I work on the layers of wallpaper in my life I need to remember there may be some parts that are harder to deal with than others. Even though at first I didn't realize the task of removing this border was going to be difficult I later found myself celebrating when a large chunk came off at once. What I once thought was going to be easy wasn't and so I adjusted myself accordingly and found celebrations in the victories along the way. I am currently unsure of a lot of things in my life. Here is a cycle I have traveled a dozen or more times in the last year: Define desired path, do all I can to direct myself, open myself up/share with others my desire, dream/think about reaching this hope, wait while others have final say regarding this desire, get rejected, rant/cry/regroup, think of another idea, repeat. I have found new things to celebrate such as the supportive people this has brought into my life that I may not have otherwise gotten to know so well. I continue to adjust my dreams, goals and plans.  I have been listening and reading about others who have traveled similar paths in their lives that eventually led to greater things. This reality gives me hope and I am grateful for those who have shared their experiences so that others may benefit.

As I close I want to clearly state that these lessons have little or nothing to do with wallpaper and everything to do with being sensitive to the needs of ourselves and others (looking/listening beyond appearances), sharing ourselves with others when asked ("me too") and to not be afraid to travel the often heartbreaking and repetitive process (cycle) of goal defining and redefining.